She’s a devil woman; She’s going to get us now. And By God she did! Picture this, a row of trucks parked on the outskirts of Mumbai, all of them looking like senior citizens of transport just about to cash in their chips and then... wait a minute, what the f.. .. something's out of the ordinary something's screaming out to me and not just me but every other truck driver and hotel owner and tea-stall vendor. Well blow me down! It's the Cattiva! (which is Italian for mean woman!) "Holy Jesus," is what you're thinking. Let's just say the makers Matharoo associates got it spot on right down to its name 'cause this van is one mean-Iooking mother. The Cattiva is a vehicle on a mission, one look at it and that's exactly what it says. She's on the road, she’s out there and she's doing something. Top Gear stole a day, flirted with her and found out what's on her mind.
Interestingly, only five percent of the Indian youth needs to donate blood to ride over the persisting blood scarcity in the country. Cattiva is inspired by the lady who lures and the prey who irresistibly concedes, knowing well that he is just one of the many. This bewitching Blood Mobile Van is the answer to the quandary. A few years ago Matharoo Associates, an architectural team, designed the Prathama Blood Centre, the largest and most advanced blood centre in the country. They also went on to win an award for the design. But not many people actually want to frequent a blood centre, no matter how bloody exciting the thing might look. I mean who says, "Sorry boss, can't make it for drinks, its Tuesday, got to head to the blood centre." If you're into that kind of thing then I'm guessing you're better known as Dr Lecter?
Prathama Blood Centre is the first to reach out to the willing masses through their novel venture, the Blood Mobile Van. What an idea, really. Wheels always seem to have a lifestyle association, a more extraordinary existence, never really given a philanthropic badge. Modifying cars is just a lavish, mostly ambitious, indulgence and nothing more. Gurjit Singh and his team seem to have made a statement though. I mean look at those pictures! It's bizarre! We just couldn't figure it our. Was it a giant insect?
An ant was what somebody called it and then there was speculation about the sides looking like a caterpillar's. But it's left up to you really.
I think psychiatrists should add it to their Rorschach card test - "Now what do you see?" Well it certainly had some sort of a therapeutic effect on our photographer. "It's... it's... it's..." and then his camera did the talking.
The Cattiva is fully equipped with four automatic donor chairs, a medical examination cubicle, a chemical toilet,a pantry a refreshment area and a lounge! The interior has an exquisite finish to it Nothing like a hospital, with all those frigging tubes and bottles and drawers of gauze and crap.Just four sleek chairs which I felt like sleeping on for days. Club owners might want to Innovate here, but if I see snazzy replicas of this beauty, parading Mumbai, playing 50 Cent, I'm going to shoot somebody. That doesn't mean you paint it with flowers and play Bob Dylan. Though,I I might actually be interested to see that done. Pot-heads, stop grinning. The entire medical unit and lounge is constructed on a 1616 Tata Chassis, the engine of which along with the six Carrier air conditioners and 220-volt AC power supply generated by a 15 KVA. Indkama DG, have their air intakes expressed as large gaping scoops in an otherwise streamlined feline body.
So this was a real pleasure shoot. It was so tempting that I had to pull out the spare 350D and do my own clicking and I wasn't the only one. We parked off on one of those fairly peaceful highways and were the cause of so much traffic and confusion. Random cars stopped by and took pictures. I was starting to detest camera phones and strangely even truck drivers seem to have one. So there we are, in the middle of nowhere, setting up the tri-pod, waiting for a clear shot and in comes Ashok Leyland and friends for their group photograph. "Tell them to get out of the frame," yells my man Dhaval, a touchy photographer. I give the 'piss off' signal and group number two have already lined up for their round of fIlming.
When I first saw the van and started to come up with ideas for a story, ten things came to mind. But they weren't half as exciting and novel as the conversations between'. the truck drivers who stopped by for a look and a round of healthy argument. Some asked us which movie this was for. Judge Dredd Part Two was what I wanted to say but decided to keep the excitement going and chewed the fat with the boys.
I'm quite a bull shitter really. One stud muffin pulled up in a fancy car with some fancy girl in and started to give his suggestions on the vehicle. "Is this from Germany? I thought I saw something like this over there last month, quite interesting." Idiot.
But I really don't blame any of them. The Cattiva is just.. .something else. Its design, its purpose, everything is just so out of the ordinary and I can't wait to see one in red.
With the capacity of a hundred donations a day, the "Cattiva" is here to suck the blood right from our veins and leave us looking like pale zombies.Go ahead and take every last drop of blood but leave me be, maybe put on some Mozart, give me intravenous white wine and drive to Goa.
